Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
