He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
