I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
