Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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