Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
