For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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