And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
