i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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