we have officially lost it.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Shame - the story of my life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
