The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
