Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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