At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
