I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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