I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
