I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
