sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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