I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
