you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
