that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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