I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I party with great urgency now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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