So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
