It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
