gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Randomize
