I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
