He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
