You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
