he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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