Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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