Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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