Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
