Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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