Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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