Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
