My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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