I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
where are you?
Hypothermia
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We were destined to go to rehab together
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
