Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
