Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
