once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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