So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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