weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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