Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
