i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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