I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The feeling are messing with the penis
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
