i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
