This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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