i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
