Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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