I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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