happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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