I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
