Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
