Are we in a gay sports bar?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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