Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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